This is it, folks, the last of the must-have-a-date-to-the-party holidays. Valentine's day concludes the trifecta of holidays: Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Valentine's Day. For some, this day means romance—flowers and chocolates and giant teddy bears. For others, this day may be an acute reminder of their single status.
Being single during the trifecta of holidays can be better for some than others. For some, this day can be sorrowful and cause the feeling of loneliness to fall like a veil of darkness spreading across their very existence. For others, this day is a reminder of dodged bullets, freedom, and one less gift to buy. Even if you love being single, you may still wish you had someone to spend some time with, even if for a day. In any case, remember that love and partnership, romantic or otherwise, can—should!—be celebrated every day, not just one day in February.
Here's the recipe for the start of a relationship: take two individuals, add a spark of a similar interest, a dash of chemistry, and poof—you have yourself a the start of a relationship. Unfortunately, attraction and common threads only go so far, and lasting relationships take work. They take time, compassion, patience, learning, growing, stretching, and so much more. There is always compromise, and there are expectations of sharing your time and location. When the differences begin to show themselves, the disagreements might follow soon after.
While being in a relationship does not automatically set you up for emotional turmoil, there are often things that bring it about. Having a partner is great, but not everyone at every point in their life is ready for that commitment or effort. Ask yourself if you're at a point where you are ready. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being single, and you might be single for a reason—why not work with that? Better yet, why not enjoy this time and call it a period of freedom? Enjoy having time for yourself to explore all opportunities that present themselves.
You are told that there is someone out there for everyone from birth and given words like agape love and soulmate. What you are not told is that, as an individual, you must reach a particular state of maturity and personal honesty to be in a healthy relationship. Little girls learn to expect wedding dresses, babies, and societally-deemed correct behaviors without understanding what really goes into finding and maintaining a healthy relationship.
Sure there is someone for everyone, plenty of fish and all that, but think about it like this. In this period of singleness, when you might feel lonely or down, remember that it's okay to be single. Maybe you need to learn something about yourself or work on some things in your own life before you're ready to enter a committed relationship. When you come into the best version of yourself, people will recognize your confidence and so treat you how you deserve to be treated, and you won't settle for anything less.
You don't have to have a partner to get gifts on Valentine's Day. Whether you've been thinking about an exotic vacation, drooling over a pair of shoes, or simply craving a box of chocolates and some flowers to brighten your room, treat yourself! The best thing about getting your own gift is that you are guaranteed to like it.
If you are single during Valentine's Day, no one is stopping you from going out and enjoying yourself. You could plan a dinner for you and your other single friends, whether that's having an at-home dinner party, ordering in, or going out together. If dinner isn't you and your friend's thing, plan an activity. Some exotic dance studios do private pole and chair dance classes for groups. Why not do something that will be feeling empowering and sexy? If dancing is not anyone's passion, plan a rock climbing or hiking get-together, a painting class, or a movie night.
Self-love takes practice, but it can be powerful and therapeutic energy. Society feeds people image after image of happy couples during this time of year, making some single individuals feel like there is something wrong with not having a significant other and therefore should be left out of this holiday until the candy goes on sale. Whatever your single situation, don't let anyone tell you you're less worthy of love, or that you can't have a good time when you're single. Enjoy this season of your life and use it to be the best you can be.
Being single does not mean being less. You have the right to get to know yourself in the world before attaching yourself to someone else's expectations. For some individuals, being single can be a painful experience. After long-term or intense relationships end, they may be left brokenhearted and lost with no direction. Holidays like Valentine's Day can bring up painful emotions and memories. The pain becomes a distraction until we can no longer stand to be alone. While singleness is never a bad thing, SokyaHealth knows it can cause sadness, even depression or anxiety. If your relationship status has you in the grips of mental illness or substance abuse, call us today. You are entitled to being so happy with yourself that being alone is a peaceful time of growth and reflection. If you are having a difficult time being alone, SokyaHealth can help you find your happiness. Call us today at 866-932-1767.